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saga:one [2022/06/12 19:59] – created electronsaga:one [2022/06/12 22:15] (current) – electron
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 +======= Saga/one ======
 +==== Chapter One ====
 One night in June, as Maf was cycling in the German countryside, he met a group of young girls. They were talking about the next big sumo show, and he decided to approach them to talk about his favorite sumo, Big Dinghy. One night in June, as Maf was cycling in the German countryside, he met a group of young girls. They were talking about the next big sumo show, and he decided to approach them to talk about his favorite sumo, Big Dinghy.
  
 —feor —feor
 +
 As Maf was talking to the young girls, he suddenly felt a tap, ever so slightly, on his shoulder. Right behind him was none other than his favorite sumo wrestler! Big Dinghy, unamused, rips his shirt and pants off, left wearing nothing but his mawashi. He then claps his hands twice and yells DOSUKOI As Maf was talking to the young girls, he suddenly felt a tap, ever so slightly, on his shoulder. Right behind him was none other than his favorite sumo wrestler! Big Dinghy, unamused, rips his shirt and pants off, left wearing nothing but his mawashi. He then claps his hands twice and yells DOSUKOI
  
 —Shaddox —Shaddox
 +
 All of a sudden, out of thin air countless sumo wrestlers appeared. Maf was shocked to see so many other of his favorite sumo wrestlers all in one place. "We need your help, maf. Come with us.", said Dinghy. As maf stared back into Dinghy's eyes, maf felt important. The sumo wars have begun. All of a sudden, out of thin air countless sumo wrestlers appeared. Maf was shocked to see so many other of his favorite sumo wrestlers all in one place. "We need your help, maf. Come with us.", said Dinghy. As maf stared back into Dinghy's eyes, maf felt important. The sumo wars have begun.
  
 —fatman —fatman
 +
 The initial offensive by the Western Sumo Coalition was brutal and effective. In four months they had pressed their way halfway from Osaka to Tokyo. The Eastern Sumo army's bulk forces routed easily along the way, but soon they met resistance from the sumo civilian militias and sumo fedayeen. Once breaching Saitama the sumo imperial guard and delta forces caused major losses the westerners had not accounted for, but eventually Tokyo fell. Almost immediately the sumo insurgency began. The initial offensive by the Western Sumo Coalition was brutal and effective. In four months they had pressed their way halfway from Osaka to Tokyo. The Eastern Sumo army's bulk forces routed easily along the way, but soon they met resistance from the sumo civilian militias and sumo fedayeen. Once breaching Saitama the sumo imperial guard and delta forces caused major losses the westerners had not accounted for, but eventually Tokyo fell. Almost immediately the sumo insurgency began.
  
 —Nameless —Nameless
 +
 The sumomen, stomping and slapping their bellies as they swept through the city, made the earth shake as their fat jiggled. Before them lay the Rainbow Bridge, the last stretch before the headquarters of Gikopoipoi. But as the 1488th sumoman stomped onto the bridge and began to cross, the bridge began to bend downward, unable to sustain their collective girth. But the sumomen had no fear. They knew that even if they sunk, they would float. They were big beautiful men. nothing would stop them. The sumomen, stomping and slapping their bellies as they swept through the city, made the earth shake as their fat jiggled. Before them lay the Rainbow Bridge, the last stretch before the headquarters of Gikopoipoi. But as the 1488th sumoman stomped onto the bridge and began to cross, the bridge began to bend downward, unable to sustain their collective girth. But the sumomen had no fear. They knew that even if they sunk, they would float. They were big beautiful men. nothing would stop them.
  
 —archy~ —archy~
 +
 And the Mahjongian regime rang out across the land as the people of Sea City finally rejoiced in their Newfound Glory where they could celebrate the Gikoshevist state and all of the devs many blessings. Our warfare against the gikolluminati is not merely material, though; the outside enemy of the State, Party, and Race is a monster of unspeakable evil. To be free and to produce original content—there is nothing more difficult than this. And that was exactly what happened. And the Mahjongian regime rang out across the land as the people of Sea City finally rejoiced in their Newfound Glory where they could celebrate the Gikoshevist state and all of the devs many blessings. Our warfare against the gikolluminati is not merely material, though; the outside enemy of the State, Party, and Race is a monster of unspeakable evil. To be free and to produce original content—there is nothing more difficult than this. And that was exactly what happened.
 +
  
 —bon —bon
  
-----+==== Chapter Two ====
  
 One summer day in beautiful Venezia, bif and maf were riding together on a dual bycicle when... One summer day in beautiful Venezia, bif and maf were riding together on a dual bycicle when...
  
 —Shaddox —Shaddox
 +
 They were called back to the Gikopoipoi Office on an urgent call. They pedaled as fast as they could, without using either their hands or feet as is the custom, and when they got to the office they asked the Japanese poi user who had called them what needed fixing. The problem was... They were called back to the Gikopoipoi Office on an urgent call. They pedaled as fast as they could, without using either their hands or feet as is the custom, and when they got to the office they asked the Japanese poi user who had called them what needed fixing. The problem was...
  
 —feor —feor
 +
 the website went down forever the website went down forever
  
 —bon —bon
 +
 The hardcore gikos had met in Akihibara at the AKB-48 building to plan out their suicides, but there was some disagreements as to how to do it. Archduke brought a few vials of insulin and suggested overdosing. Shaddox brought some arsenic-laced Mahjong tiles (only some tiles were marked) and suggested 1 last game for old time's sake. Feor proposed a camping trip in Aokigahara. iccanobif couldn't make it; autoerotic asphyxiation already got him . Poor mom. No one really seemed what to do, until Wooly spoke : The hardcore gikos had met in Akihibara at the AKB-48 building to plan out their suicides, but there was some disagreements as to how to do it. Archduke brought a few vials of insulin and suggested overdosing. Shaddox brought some arsenic-laced Mahjong tiles (only some tiles were marked) and suggested 1 last game for old time's sake. Feor proposed a camping trip in Aokigahara. iccanobif couldn't make it; autoerotic asphyxiation already got him . Poor mom. No one really seemed what to do, until Wooly spoke :
  
 —archy~ —archy~
 +
 "How about we just go and rob a grocery store for no good reason other than to become rich and powerful?" spoke Wooly. Everyone seemed to agree that this would be pretty fun. Enlisting the help of the sumo army, they head to the store to rob it together, then divide the mass wealth they gain evenly amongst eachother. "How about we just go and rob a grocery store for no good reason other than to become rich and powerful?" spoke Wooly. Everyone seemed to agree that this would be pretty fun. Enlisting the help of the sumo army, they head to the store to rob it together, then divide the mass wealth they gain evenly amongst eachother.
  
 —fatman —fatman
 +
 The resulting union of soviet socialist sumo republics lasted for one hundred and forty years. Living shared equally on the good taken from a single combini in Yokohama, canned fish, cheap beer, several disposable tenga to be reused. It was a workers paradise. It may have fallen to the Libyan invasion in 2034, but its memory shines on to us all around the world of how men can live as equals together on the spoils of a Yokohama Lawsons Combini. The resulting union of soviet socialist sumo republics lasted for one hundred and forty years. Living shared equally on the good taken from a single combini in Yokohama, canned fish, cheap beer, several disposable tenga to be reused. It was a workers paradise. It may have fallen to the Libyan invasion in 2034, but its memory shines on to us all around the world of how men can live as equals together on the spoils of a Yokohama Lawsons Combini.
  
 +—Nameless
  
-----+==== Chapter Three ====
  
- 
-—Nameless 
 One time fatman went to the grocery store and there were 1000 armed robbers suroounding the store One time fatman went to the grocery store and there were 1000 armed robbers suroounding the store
  
 —fatman —fatman
 +
 Fatman was trying to think of a way to get out of this predicament. Then, the shooting starts and the bullets just sink into him, unable to penetrate his massive armor. Fatman was trying to think of a way to get out of this predicament. Then, the shooting starts and the bullets just sink into him, unable to penetrate his massive armor.
  
 —Shaddox —Shaddox
 +
 Fatman decided it was time to get serious. 'THIS IS FOR JEFFREY MCWILD AND THE SATAN SHARK!!' he yelled as he rolled towards his enemies. His massive arse flattened them like a pancake. Slowly, fatman's consciousness came back and he realized what he had done... Fatman decided it was time to get serious. 'THIS IS FOR JEFFREY MCWILD AND THE SATAN SHARK!!' he yelled as he rolled towards his enemies. His massive arse flattened them like a pancake. Slowly, fatman's consciousness came back and he realized what he had done...
  
 —feor —feor
 +
 He just died and now he was in heaven, and what he saw throughout his life amazes the world to this day. How was Jeffery McWild and Satan SHARK here? The answer may shock you. But only Fatman can decide to tell you, the truth. Unfortunately, he died from his injuries. But the story lives on to tell. He just died and now he was in heaven, and what he saw throughout his life amazes the world to this day. How was Jeffery McWild and Satan SHARK here? The answer may shock you. But only Fatman can decide to tell you, the truth. Unfortunately, he died from his injuries. But the story lives on to tell.
  
 —bon —bon
 +
 The loli screamed and wetted and shitted herself. A typical fear reaction. Maybe she thought the mess would be a turn off. But little did she know, her waste only made iccanobif (filthy pervert) all the more turned on. "I told you," he warned you, "Gikopoipoi after 10pm is for adults only. You should have gone to bed. This is what bad girls get." He scooped up some of her schlop and began rubbing it on his cock and in his chest hair. The loli shook with chattering teeth, limp. The loli screamed and wetted and shitted herself. A typical fear reaction. Maybe she thought the mess would be a turn off. But little did she know, her waste only made iccanobif (filthy pervert) all the more turned on. "I told you," he warned you, "Gikopoipoi after 10pm is for adults only. You should have gone to bed. This is what bad girls get." He scooped up some of her schlop and began rubbing it on his cock and in his chest hair. The loli shook with chattering teeth, limp.
  
 —archy~ —archy~
 +
 He took out his tools, preparing for the ritual he knew quite well. First the scalpel, cutting a deep 'T' in her pelvis. Then the forceps, pulling away and pinching in place the lower and upper colon. Finally the power drill, a 1 inch diameter new hole just below the opening of the uterus. "Do you understand what you've made me do?" he asked, the loli kept awake but still by the previously administered paralytic agent could not scream, but she knew the pain as he slid his full length through her cervix. He took out his tools, preparing for the ritual he knew quite well. First the scalpel, cutting a deep 'T' in her pelvis. Then the forceps, pulling away and pinching in place the lower and upper colon. Finally the power drill, a 1 inch diameter new hole just below the opening of the uterus. "Do you understand what you've made me do?" he asked, the loli kept awake but still by the previously administered paralytic agent could not scream, but she knew the pain as he slid his full length through her cervix.
  
 —Nameless —Nameless
  
- +==== Chapter Four ====
----- +
  
 This is a story about a cat named Hitler who is the cutest kitty that ever lived! He likes biting people's feet and is usually a bit dirty. We found him in a sewer, and he's still getting over his diarrhea. Anyway, one day, little baby Hitler found a website called Gikopoi.com open on his master's computer... This is a story about a cat named Hitler who is the cutest kitty that ever lived! He likes biting people's feet and is usually a bit dirty. We found him in a sewer, and he's still getting over his diarrhea. Anyway, one day, little baby Hitler found a website called Gikopoi.com open on his master's computer...
  
 —archy~ —archy~
 +
 Hitler taka taka taka'd on those keys... The computer keyboard was warm. His dad took great care of him in their nice home. Tokiko's wife even knitted him a sweater! Hitler taka taka taka'd on those keys... The computer keyboard was warm. His dad took great care of him in their nice home. Tokiko's wife even knitted him a sweater!
  
 —bon —bon
 +
 He noticed a strange glimmer in Hitler's eye when he looked at Tokiko's wife again. It couldn't be! She wasn't of the master race! And yet...it was true. Hitler was in love! Where would tokiko fit in this love triangle? He noticed a strange glimmer in Hitler's eye when he looked at Tokiko's wife again. It couldn't be! She wasn't of the master race! And yet...it was true. Hitler was in love! Where would tokiko fit in this love triangle?
  
 —feor —feor
 +
 Tokiko felt remorse in his heart, as he was watching his own wife looking into Hitler's eyes with desire. He knew he had to do something. And he had to do it now. Tokiko felt remorse in his heart, as he was watching his own wife looking into Hitler's eyes with desire. He knew he had to do something. And he had to do it now.
  
 —Shaddox —Shaddox
 +
 "Adolf please", he exclaimed, "you must copulate with my wife." "I know you are deep in your heart a homosexual, and her gentile persuasion is a major turn off; but your Aryan bloodline must go on through my wife.""Just thrust it in, it's mostly mechanical you don't even need to be turned on!"He pleaded with the belligerent Austrian, eventually Hitler gave in and spoke " "Adolf please", he exclaimed, "you must copulate with my wife." "I know you are deep in your heart a homosexual, and her gentile persuasion is a major turn off; but your Aryan bloodline must go on through my wife.""Just thrust it in, it's mostly mechanical you don't even need to be turned on!"He pleaded with the belligerent Austrian, eventually Hitler gave in and spoke "
  
 —Nameless —Nameless
 +
 "I will do it..."Hitler said. "On one condition, however.", he then said suddenly. Before Hitler could offer his condition, suddenly a loud noise was heard off in the distance. What could it have been? "I will do it..."Hitler said. "On one condition, however.", he then said suddenly. Before Hitler could offer his condition, suddenly a loud noise was heard off in the distance. What could it have been?
  
 —fatman —fatman
  
------+==== Chapter Five ====
  
 On September 11 2001 17 hijackers belonging to a group funded by terrorist financier Icannobif took control of 3 jetliners that had left from New York JFK an hour prior. The unifying belief of these hijackers was in a sect of extremist militant Shii-ite Gikoslam. On September 11 2001 17 hijackers belonging to a group funded by terrorist financier Icannobif took control of 3 jetliners that had left from New York JFK an hour prior. The unifying belief of these hijackers was in a sect of extremist militant Shii-ite Gikoslam.
  
 —Nameless —Nameless
 +
 Iccanobif scratched his chest hair and leaned back in his computer chair. His mother had just gone to bed, which meant it was time for him to get back to his jihad. Computer, boot up. Computer, open Gikopoipoi. (loading, loading..) He logged in and looked to see who else was around. There was his psyops officer, CATARP! and his logistics chairman, Feor Mode on. There were also several fresh Jihadis, Wooly and Nameless, playing in the schoolyard and talking. "Heh, heh, heh.." the iccanobif chuckled. His plan Iccanobif scratched his chest hair and leaned back in his computer chair. His mother had just gone to bed, which meant it was time for him to get back to his jihad. Computer, boot up. Computer, open Gikopoipoi. (loading, loading..) He logged in and looked to see who else was around. There was his psyops officer, CATARP! and his logistics chairman, Feor Mode on. There were also several fresh Jihadis, Wooly and Nameless, playing in the schoolyard and talking. "Heh, heh, heh.." the iccanobif chuckled. His plan
  
 —archy~ —archy~
 +
 The plan Feor, Catarp and Bif schemed together to get zazzachu to touch his chest hair. So they arranged for an impromptu meeting in the UK. Zazzachu, unknowingly, approaches bif and then bif's chest hair starts tangling around his arms and legs. The plan Feor, Catarp and Bif schemed together to get zazzachu to touch his chest hair. So they arranged for an impromptu meeting in the UK. Zazzachu, unknowingly, approaches bif and then bif's chest hair starts tangling around his arms and legs.
  
 —Shaddox —Shaddox
 +
 Suddenly, before Bif can harm Zazzachu, maf, dinghy, and the sumo wrestler army appear. "STOP!" shouts Dinghy. iccanobif slowly stops and turns around, face to face with Dinghy. Catarp and Feor prepare to fight against the sumo wrestlers, as maf watches in awe of the sheer strength of everyone. Suddenly, before Bif can harm Zazzachu, maf, dinghy, and the sumo wrestler army appear. "STOP!" shouts Dinghy. iccanobif slowly stops and turns around, face to face with Dinghy. Catarp and Feor prepare to fight against the sumo wrestlers, as maf watches in awe of the sheer strength of everyone.
  
 —fatman —fatman
 +
 Catarp banshee screams the tiger beam straight into the sumo wrestlers chests! while Feor super sharp slices them into squares. and dinghy tosses bif to maf who tosses him back to dinghy. who then runs into the niclear bomb shelter zzazzachu zzbergs the nuclear n-bomsb and everyone outside died Catarp banshee screams the tiger beam straight into the sumo wrestlers chests! while Feor super sharp slices them into squares. and dinghy tosses bif to maf who tosses him back to dinghy. who then runs into the niclear bomb shelter zzazzachu zzbergs the nuclear n-bomsb and everyone outside died
  
 —bon —bon
 +
 We thought everyone had died, the worst massacre of the 21st century. But we were wrong! Out of the ashes rose Muryoku. Hardened by the training of Zzazzachu-sensei, he was resistant to all forms of cunt, cunny and nigger. He stood proudly like a monument to Giko degeneracy and planted a flag over the dead bodies of his friends. 'For Cunny' he exclaimed. We thought everyone had died, the worst massacre of the 21st century. But we were wrong! Out of the ashes rose Muryoku. Hardened by the training of Zzazzachu-sensei, he was resistant to all forms of cunt, cunny and nigger. He stood proudly like a monument to Giko degeneracy and planted a flag over the dead bodies of his friends. 'For Cunny' he exclaimed.
  
 —feor —feor
  
------+ 
 +==== Chapter Six =====
  
 Archduke was starving living in that jungle. "A cat is fine too," he stared into Hitler's feline eyes. Hitler glared back. "There is no way this dumbass is going to try to eat me." The smell of flame and gasoline filled the house, and Archduke stirred his boiling pot of water. "Here kitty! kitty kitty! tiger!" Archduke was starving living in that jungle. "A cat is fine too," he stared into Hitler's feline eyes. Hitler glared back. "There is no way this dumbass is going to try to eat me." The smell of flame and gasoline filled the house, and Archduke stirred his boiling pot of water. "Here kitty! kitty kitty! tiger!"
  
 —bon —bon
 +
 Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door. Archduke froze in a panic. 'This is the Islamic police! We heard a tip that you are trying to eat a cat! That is extremely and utterly haram!" They kicked down the door. Hitler took the chance to run away as the Islamic police handcuffed his master. "Archduke, we've heard a lot of awful things about you... this is just the first time we actually were able to catch you in the act. In fact, we even heard that Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door. Archduke froze in a panic. 'This is the Islamic police! We heard a tip that you are trying to eat a cat! That is extremely and utterly haram!" They kicked down the door. Hitler took the chance to run away as the Islamic police handcuffed his master. "Archduke, we've heard a lot of awful things about you... this is just the first time we actually were able to catch you in the act. In fact, we even heard that
  
 —archy~ —archy~
 +
 you were consorting with Hitler in homosexual acts. Frottage, 69, reacharounds, all manner of homosexual sex with Austrian born dictator of Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. This is of course deeply illegal, as Adolf Hitler is a wanted criminal. You will be sentenced to the highest form of punishment the Islamic Police can dish out: you were consorting with Hitler in homosexual acts. Frottage, 69, reacharounds, all manner of homosexual sex with Austrian born dictator of Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. This is of course deeply illegal, as Adolf Hitler is a wanted criminal. You will be sentenced to the highest form of punishment the Islamic Police can dish out:
  
 —Nameless —Nameless
 +
 Castration. 'THIS IS NOT YOUR JURISDICTION!' Out of nowhere, Sheriff Boon had jumped out to rescue you from the claws of the Islamic Police. You looked at the sheriff gratefully and asked him for his name. 'They call me Catarp's Brother', he replied. 'Don't thank me. This is my job. Do you mind if I stop to get pizza on the way back? It's for my sister.' Castration. 'THIS IS NOT YOUR JURISDICTION!' Out of nowhere, Sheriff Boon had jumped out to rescue you from the claws of the Islamic Police. You looked at the sheriff gratefully and asked him for his name. 'They call me Catarp's Brother', he replied. 'Don't thank me. This is my job. Do you mind if I stop to get pizza on the way back? It's for my sister.'
  
 —feor —feor
 +
 Sheriff Boon and Catarp's brother then hopped together on his bike and rode off into the sunset. On the way back to Catarp's house, they stop by Dominos and order a pizza with buffolini cheese on it. Sheriff Boon and Catarp's brother then hopped together on his bike and rode off into the sunset. On the way back to Catarp's house, they stop by Dominos and order a pizza with buffolini cheese on it.
  
 —Shaddox —Shaddox
 +
 Boon and catarp's brother then went to go get groceries on their way home, however upon reaching the location it was as if they had walked into a warzone. Catarp's brother noticed Catarp fighting in the conflict, and decided to join in on iccanobif's side in the great war. Boon and catarp's brother then went to go get groceries on their way home, however upon reaching the location it was as if they had walked into a warzone. Catarp's brother noticed Catarp fighting in the conflict, and decided to join in on iccanobif's side in the great war.
 +
 +—fatman
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