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beer [2021/04/29 17:10] – external edit 127.0.0.1beer [2021/11/15 04:01] (current) – MORE clicky links agiat
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-Beer is an [[tanasinn|ominous]], natural resource and a [[genocide|world heritage]], praised to all around the world except Myanmar.+====== Beer ====== 
 +[[Beer|Beer]] is an [[tanasinn|ominous]], natural resource and a [[genocide|world heritage]], praised to all around the world except [[Myanmar|Myanmar.]] While it is allegedly outlawed in [[Indonesia]], many [[dqn|Indo]]s are known to drink it.
  
-After the creation of the universe, beer was created by God to protect the world.+After the creation of the universe, beer was created by [[haruhi_suzumiya|God]] to protect [[world|the world]].
  
 ===== Origins of beer ===== ===== Origins of beer =====
  
-After God created all the animals and [[Haruhi_Mittens|sex toys]] she needed for further explorations, +After [[haruhi_suzumiya|God]] created all the animals and [[HaruhiMittens|sex toys]] she needed for further explorations,
 she was furious about all the [[4chan|hate and violence]] humanity suddenly brought up. she was furious about all the [[4chan|hate and violence]] humanity suddenly brought up.
- 
 By giving them the ability to brew beer she also gave them the glorious condition of being drunk all the time. By giving them the ability to brew beer she also gave them the glorious condition of being drunk all the time.
- 
 Now after the [[human|humans]] discovered the holy spirit of beer, they live in [[mittens|harmony]] and liver damage for the rest of their lives. Now after the [[human|humans]] discovered the holy spirit of beer, they live in [[mittens|harmony]] and liver damage for the rest of their lives.
  
 ===== Brewing process ===== ===== Brewing process =====
  
-There is a buttload of different options. Many peoples learned an own unique way to brew beer.+There is a [[sex|buttload]] of different options. Many peoples learned an own unique way to brew beer. 
 +Some of these antique techniques obtained for hundreds of years and are still practised by different [[country|countries]] today. 
 +In the following sections our [[teamofhighlytrained_baboons|team of highly trained baboons]] will explain to you the practices of the most successful beer brewing nations.
  
-Some of these antique techniques obtained for hundreds of years and are still practiced by different [[country|countries]] today. +(note from the author, feel free to add other countries) 
- +[{{ Kirin_beer.jpg?300|Japan's finest.}}]
-In the following sections our [[team_of_highly_trained_baboons|team of highly trained baboons]] will explain to you the practices of the most successful beer brewing nations. +
- +
-(note from the autor, feel free to add other countries)+
  
 ===== Japan ===== ===== Japan =====
- +[[Japan]|Japan]] has one of the oldest beer brewing techniques of the world. 
-Japan has one of the oldest beer brewing techniques of the world. {{Kirin_beer.jpg|fig:Japans finest.}} +By summoning the [[great_drunk_chicken|great drunk chicken]] once a year and killing it, the brewers obtain enough blood from the chicken to brew for another year straight.
- +
-By summoning the [[great_drunk_chicken|great drunk chicken]] once a year and killing it, the brewers optain enough blood from the chicken to brew for another year straight. +
 The blood of the chicken contains a natural flow of alcohol to use as an ingredient. The blood of the chicken contains a natural flow of alcohol to use as an ingredient.
- 
 After the blood is stored in a big round tank the brewers connect the heart of the chicken to it. After the blood is stored in a big round tank the brewers connect the heart of the chicken to it.
- +By beating the heart repeatedly with [[mittens|mittens]] it begins to beat again without any outer influence.
-By beating the heart repeatetly with mittens it beginns to beat again without any outer influence. +
 Now it is time to add the other ingredients into the tank, witch will circulate trough the artificially constructed circulatory system. Now it is time to add the other ingredients into the tank, witch will circulate trough the artificially constructed circulatory system.
- 
 Common ingredients are: Common ingredients are:
  
-  * Concentrated rice, as a substitude for malt. +  * [[kopipe:japanophilia|Concentrated rice]], as a substitute for malt. 
- +  * Bellsprouts or Oddishes as a substitute for hops.
-  * Bellsprouts or Oddishes as a substitude for hops. +
   * Yellow and red rubies   * Yellow and red rubies
- 
   * The brewer   * The brewer
  
 The mixture now flows trough the tank and the heart, under the tank is a fire witch heats up the machine. The mixture now flows trough the tank and the heart, under the tank is a fire witch heats up the machine.
- +After 6-9 hours the mixture is aggressively brewed and can be served after it cooled down. 
-After 6-9 hours the mixture is agressively brewed and can be served after it cooled down. +A typical example of Japanese beer is [[https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirin_Beer|Kirin Beer]] 
- +[{{ störtebecker.jpg?300|3 different sorts of Störtebecker... very nice cover huh?}}] 
-A typical example of japanese beer is [[https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirin_Beer|Kirin Beer]]+[{{ Miller_Genuine_Draft.jpg?300|A regular water bottle as a comparison}}] 
 +[{{ Kolumbus_davordanach.png?300|An original representation of Columbus before and after seeing the Angolian banananananatree}}]
  
 ===== Germany ===== ===== Germany =====
  
-Germany is the iconic beer brewing nation. {{Störtebecker.jpg|fig:three different sorts of Störtebecker... very nice cover huh?.}} +[[thirdreich|Germany]] is the iconic beer brewing nation. 
 with over 9000 different brands of beer brewing companies, Germany holds the world record for most beer beered into a beering beerbeer. with over 9000 different brands of beer brewing companies, Germany holds the world record for most beer beered into a beering beerbeer.
  
-It also holds the record for hightest alcohol percentage in the rivers by spilling out to much beer during the oktoberfest+It also holds the record for highest alcohol percentage in the rivers by spilling out to much beer during the Oktoberfest
  
 and also because of the beer rain thingy you will read next. and also because of the beer rain thingy you will read next.
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 When this happens the beer has a really high alcohol percentage and in historic cases the citizens of entire cities where drunk for weeks. When this happens the beer has a really high alcohol percentage and in historic cases the citizens of entire cities where drunk for weeks.
  
-A typical example of german beer is [[https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/St%C3%B6rtebeker_Braumanufaktur|Störtebecker]]+A typical example of [[thirdreich|German]] beer is [[https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/St%C3%B6rtebeker_Braumanufaktur|Störtebecker]] 
  
 ===== America ===== ===== America =====
  
-American beer normally contains 4 main ingredients. {{Miller_Genuine_Draft.jpg|fig:a regular water bottle as a comparison.}} +[[amerikkka|American]] beer normally contains 4 main ingredients.  
- +  * Potatoes 
-- Potatoes +  * [[bees#honey_-_urine_connection|Sugar]] 
- +  * Fur from beavers 
-- Sugar +  * [[freedom|Freedom]]
- +
-- Fur from beavers +
- +
-- Freedom +
- +
-American beer is banned in countries like [[Soviet_Russia|Soviet Russia]] and Sudan, as the citizens probably couldnt handle the freedom.+
  
 +American beer is banned in countries like [[SovietRussia|Soviet Russia]] and Sudan, as the citizens probably couldn't handle the freedom.
 The Ingredients get mixed together by being eaten and urinated out by a bison. After the mixture is free it sinks into the grasslands and further into the groundwater. The Ingredients get mixed together by being eaten and urinated out by a bison. After the mixture is free it sinks into the grasslands and further into the groundwater.
- 
 Then the groundwater gets pumped out and filtered. Then the groundwater gets pumped out and filtered.
- +Because of the high hygiene standards all the unhealthy bits are filtered out from the urine and the result is freshly filtered pure water.
-Because of the high hygiene standarts all the unhealty bits are filtered out from the urine and the result is freshly filtered pure water. +
 The brewery now fills in the bottles with a high tech migrant worker and sells them. The prices depend on the actual oil price. The brewery now fills in the bottles with a high tech migrant worker and sells them. The prices depend on the actual oil price.
  
-A typical example of american beer is Miller [[https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_Brewing_Company|Genuine Draft]]+A typical example of American beer is Miller [[https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_Brewing_Company|Genuine Draft]]
  
 ===== Venezuela ===== ===== Venezuela =====
  
-Another quite special way of beer production comes from Venezuela. {{Kolumbus_davordanach.png|fig:an original representation of columbus before and after seeing the angolian banananananatree.}} +Another quite special way of beer production comes from [[Venezuela|Venezuela.]] 
- +After the [[Power_Rangers|Power Rangers]] rebuilt the country, the Indians who lived there had many trees all over their fields.
-After the [[Power_Rangers|Power Rangers]] rebuilt the country, the indians who lived there had many trees all over their fields. +
 In fact there were so many trees everywhere, myths tell, there is even a forest hiding somewhere behind these trees. In fact there were so many trees everywhere, myths tell, there is even a forest hiding somewhere behind these trees.
- 
 Due to the fact of fieldlessness Venezuela experienced, they found a new revolutionary way of brewing beer. Due to the fact of fieldlessness Venezuela experienced, they found a new revolutionary way of brewing beer.
- 
 The idea was so revolutionary, imperialists went completely nuts. The idea was so revolutionary, imperialists went completely nuts.
- +Naa boy let me tell you, [[that_fucker_Columbus|that fucker Columbus]] couldn't handle this shit dude...
-Naa boy let me tell you, [[that_fucker_Columbus|that fucker Columbus]] couldnt handle this shit dude... +
 But what is it what they did? But what is it what they did?
- +By injecting beer into the roots of the [[angolianbanananananatree|angolian banananananatree]] he mutated into a Tree with beer bottles as fruits, hanging from the branches. 
-By injecting beer into the roots of the [[angolian_banananananatree|angolian banananananatree]] he mutated into a Tree with beer bottles as fruits, hanging from the branches. +That way the Indians could harvest the bottles directly without any brewing procedure needed.
- +
-That way the indians could harvest the bottles directly without any brewing procedure needed. +
 As time went on, there where different sorts of beertrees evolving, bringing new beer brands as a result. As time went on, there where different sorts of beertrees evolving, bringing new beer brands as a result.
- 
 Any attempts, cultivating the tree in other countries failed due to the lack of the right nutritive substances in the soil. Any attempts, cultivating the tree in other countries failed due to the lack of the right nutritive substances in the soil.
- +A typical example of Venezuelan beer is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empresas_Polar|Empresas Polar]] 
-A typical example of venezuelan beer is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empresas_Polar|Empresas Polar]] +[{{ Einstök.jpg?300|Jerk trying Einstök while wearing a viking helmet.}}]
 ===== Iceland ===== ===== Iceland =====
  
-Back in 1993 when [[Garðarr_Svavarsson|Garðarr Svavarsson]] discovered Iceland, he discovered a new beer brewing method by accident. {{Einstök.jpg|fig:Jerk trying Einstök while wearing a viking helmet.}}+Back in [[1993]] when [[GarðarrSvavarsson|Garðarr Svavarsson]] discovered [[Iceland|Iceland]], he discovered a new beer brewing method by accident. 
  
 When Garðarr made further explorations on the island he climbed the big volcano Herðubreið. When Garðarr made further explorations on the island he climbed the big volcano Herðubreið.
- 
 As he reached the top, his lunch fell into the volcano. As he reached the top, his lunch fell into the volcano.
- 
 The enormous heat caused the butter and bread to react and with a big blast a beer like mass flew into the air. The enormous heat caused the butter and bread to react and with a big blast a beer like mass flew into the air.
- 
 Garðarr saw a potential in this hazard and experimented with other ingredients like potatoes, meat, fruits and different sorts of wheat. Garðarr saw a potential in this hazard and experimented with other ingredients like potatoes, meat, fruits and different sorts of wheat.
- +By adding water he reached the optimal liquidity and after a while he had different recipes for godly beer. 
-By adding wather he reached the optimal liquidity and after a while he had different recepies for godly beer. +this tradition was passed from generation to generation until today where glorious Icelandic beer is still brewed with thermal power. 
- +A typical Icelandic beer is [[http://einstokbeer.com/|Einstök]] 
-this tradition was passed from generation to generation until today where glorious icelandic beer is still brewed with thermal power. +[{{ Chinggis_beer.jpg?300|the great grand Пиво үйлдвэрлэгч.}}] 
- +[{{ Moosehead.png?300|Moosehead.png}}]
-A typical icelandic beer is [[http://einstokbeer.com/|Einstök]]+
  
 ===== Mongolia ===== ===== Mongolia =====
  
-Mongolia has also found a unique way to produce finest nomadic beer. {{Chinggis_beer.jpg|fig:the great grand Пиво үйлдвэрлэгч.}} +[[Mongolia|Mongolia]] has also found a unique way to produce finest nomadic beer.  
- +To brew Mongolian beer one has to plant Рай on a big цөлийн and water it with Цайны.
-To brew mongolian beer one has to plant Рай on a big цөлийн and water it with Цайны. +
 Then he has to wait 20 өдөр, during this period he can visit the гангаар хийсэн том хөшөө and үнсэлт it. Then he has to wait 20 өдөр, during this period he can visit the гангаар хийсэн том хөшөө and үнсэлт it.
- 
 After he буцаж явах the Рай can be хураан and холимог with Сарлагийн сүү. After he буцаж явах the Рай can be хураан and холимог with Сарлагийн сүү.
- 
 Then the холимог is filled into a том шавар and Түүний дотор гал шатаж. Then the холимог is filled into a том шавар and Түүний дотор гал шатаж.
- +its kind of дурсан the Японы журам. In the end we have a delicious нарийн шар айраг coming out of the том.
-its kind of дурсан the Японы журам. In the end we have a delicious нарийн шар айраг comming out of the том. +
 Mongolian Beer also known as "Монгол шар айраг" is most алдартай for its тааламжтай цуст taste. Mongolian Beer also known as "Монгол шар айраг" is most алдартай for its тааламжтай цуст taste.
- 
 It is худалдсан at the Уншиж байна "Drinks of the Дэлхийн" in Базелийн. It is худалдсан at the Уншиж байна "Drinks of the Дэлхийн" in Базелийн.
- +A typical Монгол шар айраг is {{youtube>_YTDDeIpfRk?medium}}
-A typical Монгол шар айраг is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YTDDeIpfRk|Chinggis Beer]]+
  
 ===== Canada ===== ===== Canada =====
  
-The most important tradition in the old canadian beer brewing technique is it, to start every sentence with "The". {{Moosehead.jpg|fig:Moosehead.jpg}} +The most important tradition in the old [[Canada|Canadian]] beer brewing technique is it, to start every sentence with "The". 
- +
-The canadian beer only uses two main ingredients from the famous national symbols; the moose and the maple tree.+
  
 +The Canadian beer only uses two main ingredients from the famous national symbols; the moose and the maple tree.
 The maple syrup is extracted from the tree by using magical mittens. The maple syrup is extracted from the tree by using magical mittens.
- 
 The moose produces milk and fills it directly into bags. The moose produces milk and fills it directly into bags.
- +The syrup and the milk are mixed together in a big wooden brewing barrel.
-The syrup and the milk are mixed together in a big wodden brewing barrel. +
 The fresh mixture now ferments for six weeks. The fresh mixture now ferments for six weeks.
- 
 The beer is ready to drink. The beer is ready to drink.
- +The well known [[http://moosehead.ca/|Moosehead]] beer is a typical Canadian beer.
-The well known [[http://moosehead.ca/|Moosehead]] beer is a typical canadian beer.+
  
 ===== See also ===== ===== See also =====
- 
 UOBBN UOBBN
  
-Category:foods [[Category:Articles_that_need_more_categories|Category:Articles that need more categories]] Category:Beer +{{tag>old draft food fix-me}}
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